Wednesday, July 18, 2012

wear: raiders of the lost outfit.

not all outfit pictures are created equal. i get weird in front of the camera which makes it difficult to get a shot where my eyes aren't closed, my hands aren't in some strange position, or i don't look like a complete tool. 
(i'm not just being hard on myself. ask my friend meredith about the time she caught me humming nervously, without even realizing it, the entire time our picture was being taken.)

anyway, sometimes outfit pictures are taken but never posted on the blog. 
whether it's vanity or simply bad lighting, here are some of those never-before-seen outfits...

1. constipation kills.
for years i had pretty crooked teeth and was always pretty self-conscious about my smile. even though i've since had them straightened, thousands of dollars later i'm still weird about smiling. this often results in a squinty-eyed constipation face. plus, i just don't really like this outfit. 
driving mocs//steve madden
arrow necklace//stella & dot

2. dude, where's my body?
as a petite person, i try to avoid styles that accentuate my vertical handicap. i bought this maxi skirt thinking it would be a great alternative to wearing black pants all the time at work, but pairing it with this button-down was a bad choice. i'm drowning in a sea of fabric. and hair! blech. i've since worn it with a tank-top and that worked better, but i still think maxi skirts make me look like i'm playing dress-up in my mom's closet. 
shirt//old navy
belt//j.crew outlet
leopard flats//steve madden

3. stop looking at me, swan.
i get really awkward when someone else is behind the camera and especially awkward when trying to take pictures in public places. the day i wore this outfit, we were in the middle of downtown, a friend was trying to take my picture, and my kids were half-nekkid and screaming. (big surprise.) it was like a car accident. 
people were all, cantstopstaring
needless to say, this picture was the best of the bunch so the outfit never made its blog debut. and let's be honest, i felt kind of chunky in it anyway.
t-shirt//french connection
bracelets//vintage & j.crew 

 4. don't drink & drive pose.
the other night i wore this to karaoke.* after a couple drinks and a couple songs, we decided to take some outfit pictures outside in the worst lighting ever. i looked like an alien in every picture. and then we took this gem with the flash...
*we have a monthly karaoke night at our favorite dive bar. my songs of choice are 'son of a preacher man',  'mercy' by duffy, and anything by amy grant. fyi.
tank//american eagle
leather flip flops//j.crew
necklace//gift (von maur)

by my estimation, after four years of blogging, my outfit pictures have improved by 2%. progress, people. and something about "slow & steady wins the race." i'd hate to bombard you with photographic greatness too soon. 
hang in there.


  1. you are so funny!! love seeing all your pics - you always look great. (we are our own worst critic!)

  2. self deprecation rules! and you have very tan legs. i am jealous. annnnd it's true, you are always funny on here. love it!

  3. amy grant!!! lololol. LOVED her, like obsessed loved. ps. saw her in concert and met her. fist pump.
    you make me laugh.
    but i disagree with you about maxi skirts and short girls.

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