Thursday, May 31, 2012

easy does it.

how's that for an entrance? dust-bunnies be damned! 
i have much to discuss. it's been 16 days since my last post! there have been trips and tattoos and weddings and new jobs!

 i feel like i'm beginning this post like a confession:
"forgive me readers, for i have sinned. it has been a fortnight* since my last blog."** 

along with the fun things i want to blog about, i'd also like to share a little about why the posting has been so scarce lately. the past year has been challenging in many ways and i've had a hard time writing because i'm not sure how to be authentic here while still maintaining the privacy and trust of my family. i think this is an issue a lot of bloggers face, and i want to try & figure it out. it might come in the form of a long, rambling post; but fingers-crossed, we'll get some questions answered and we can all be happy and stop worrying about each other.***

to reacquaint ourselves, let's ease back into things with a simple outfit post...
today it was rainy and i had a meeting at my new job. (yayjob!) i didn't want to wear jeans but i still wanted to feel somewhat casual. this outfit was the solution...
if you've been with me for a while, you probably know this outfit is basically a compilation of my security blankets. 
army green+leopard print+heather gray+chunky necklace=i feel safe. 
aaaaand i might start sucking my thumb.
jacket//forever 21
pins (on jacket)//j.crew
t-shirt//old navy
shoes//tj maxx
necklace//forever 21
*is that a fortnight? i wish abe lincoln were here, he would totally know. 
**i have never actually gone to "confession" like in the movies. this is verified by the fact that i just said, "like in the movies." 
***i didn't realize you were worried, but my sister let me know in a very sweet and sisterly way. she's my big sis and she has my back. thank-you for your concern, as i hope and assume your queries come from a place of love and genuine care. 

p.s. this post was written to a soundtrack of birdy. i slow-danced in my seat and thought it sounded really good when we sang "skinny love" together. you should give her a listen.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

electronic sabotage.

yesterday, i wrote a nice little post about how i was obsessed with this super-expensive cardigan from j.crew and (with a lot of patience) ended up getting it for $13! unfortunately, mediacom hated the story and cut out my internet just as i clicked "publish." the post was lost forever and now you'll never know how  bad  good it was.
i should just start a tumblr.
sandals//sam edleman
bracelets//j.crew & vintage

Wednesday, May 09, 2012

the birthday party in pictures.

homemade pizza, friends & family, a big surprise present, a round of bowling and the most delicious birthday cake ever. i'd say it was a successful party.

Tuesday, May 08, 2012

five years ago today i became a mother.
piper rice arganbright was born five days early at 7:30 in the morning. she was seven pounds, ten ounces, 21.5 inches long. she was long and skinny and had rosy skin.

we went to the hospital in our small mountain town of estes park, colorado around 12:30 a.m. we walked up to the main doors, only to find it locked. we walked around the building to another set of doors where we could see a sleeping security guard inside. several knocks finally startled him enough to wake up, and he let us in.

the hospital was quiet and only a few staff were around. i remember the nurse asking me about my level of pain and my "management plan." i said i was probably at a 6 or 7 and that i would like to deliver naturally, with as little medical intervention as possible. i remember her chuckling and saying, "good luck, it's going to get a lot worse." i felt put off by her response and naively thought i didn't have much further to go before the baby would be born.

when they checked my progress, i was only at a four and still, i thought things would move quickly. looking back, i suppose they did considering it was my first delivery. i had back labor, which was something i hadn't anticipated. i remember every noise and light irritated me and i could hardly speak a word. i was very inwardly-focused and it took all i had just to answer simple questions. one of the few times i opened my eyes was to vomit and basically communicated with grunts and hand motions. i listened to enya while i labored (don't judge) and tried to remember the pain management techniques i'd spent weeks studying. i remember the nurse trying to convince me to breathe. amazing how something as natural as breathing can seem like such a task.

in the early morning, the nurse said that she was going to call my doctor. when he arrived they decided to break my water and that's when things really began to progress. i don't remember the exact time that they said i was ready to push, but i do remember how relieved i was that the waiting, the contractions, would finally be over. i was so ready. i pushed for about 30 minutes and i think that was the first time i made much noise at all. i remember the sound of my own voice startled me and i tried to channel all the pain and exhaustion into that one glorious purpose.

the moments thereafter are a blur, but our team of nurses was incredible and they kept telling me i was doing a great job. i remember thinking, "they probably tell everyone that," but i didn't care.  i was still shouting when they placed her on my chest and when i finally opened my eyes, i couldn't believe how beautiful she was. and pink!
we named her 'piper' for its' spunk and 'rice' after my grandmother's middle name.
but i've called her "puppy" from almost the moment she was born because she reminded me of a little, squawking, snorting newborn puppy.

our parents drove up the next day from iowa and since we had no food in the house, we all went out to dinner our very first night home from the hospital. i didn't even register the shock of the other patrons when they asked how old our baby was. "ummm...36 hours?"

the first week or so was a lesson in balance and humility. i remember dreading the nighttime. i would have a little emotional breakdown each evening around dinner time, knowing that the night was near, wondering how i was going to make it through another night of feedings and changings. i would be thrilled to see the sun rise and disappointed to find that no one else was up to keep me company at 6 a.m.

pretty soon we got a routine down and those first months, even that first year, was so simple. almost easy. i remember telling people how much i loved being a mom and how surprised i was that it seemed to come naturally to me. it's good to remember that time and those feelings because, as most parents will attest--it only gets harder.

piper is strong, independent, and intelligent. she's experienced a lot of change and turmoil in her first five years, but i am proud of how she has handled it all. she is intuitive and insightful and constantly amazes me with her thoughts and questions. her mind is creative and open and i love seeing the world through her eyes. she has taught me a lot about myself--things i'm proud of and things i'm not.

it's hard to believe it's been five years since that little pink, snorting baby was placed into my arms. she has grown and changed so much since then. i suppose we both have.
happy birthday, puppy girl.

Monday, May 07, 2012

spotted: not pregnant.

i've started to notice that i feel incomplete when not wearing leopard print in some form. it just goes with everything! and, call me dotty, but i now consider it a neutral. fortunately, my wallet is leopard print so even on the days i must forego the printed clothing, shoes or accessories, i always have it nearby. 
you know, in case i get the shakes. 
necklace//von maur
dress//theory via worn
sunglasses//ray ban
*despite how these photos might appear, i'm actually not pregnant. 

nor do i want to be.

ever. again.

Tuesday, May 01, 2012

i wear the weather on my sleeve.

let's be midwestern and talk about the weather, shall we? we can talk about how dreary it's been lately and how ready for summer we are and how no amount of coffee is going to get us through this day. 
the ladies can discuss how we want to wear our little sundresses and sandals and the gents can talk about...well, i don't think there are many men here anyway so you can just listen to the ladies talk about clothes. unless, of course, you want to talk sundresses.
fortunately for you, men, there isn't much to say about this outfit. i wore it to work. i haven't worn this jacket in probably a year or more*, but it was cool and drizzly (more weather chat, thisblogisamazing) and i kind of like how the cognac color of the jacket paired with navy and made the orange necklace pop. i think the color is a little distorted in these pictures because the jacket almost looks mustard yellow but it's really not. blah, i'm bored. are you? let's talk about the weather again. 
i hear there's a blizzard coming.
*luckily i don't always follow that rule about ridding your closet of those scarcely-worn items...

other post-scripts: 
1. i need to get my hair colored. like, today. 
2. did you notice my faux-hem on these pants? hate to pay $10 to tailor $13 pants...
3. i cut another few inches off my hair. have we discussed this? sometimes i really miss my long hair and it makes my heart ache, but then i feel disgusted with myself. hair should not a heartache make. 
4. i can never decide what size font to use? the above is "large" which kind of freaks me out, i'm not sure i'm a "large font" kind of girl. but this is "normal" and it seems small. what say you?