warning: this is going to be one of those ramshackle posts that is poorly-written but will hopefully make me feel better after i'm done.
i've never been good at focusing on one task at a time. my mind is constantly flooded with the ten other things that need to be accomplished before the end of the day and i find it difficult to start a project and see it to completion. my mom thinks the women in our family have ADD--she might be right.
this morning i'm thinking about the rest of the laundry that needs to be put away (though, i'm proud to say i made great strides in this area yesterday), the laundry room that needs to be painted (it's currently the brightest yellow you've ever seen, but somehow still looks dingy and gross), the groceries that need to be purchased, the workouts that have been on the back-burner, the shower curtain liner that needs to be replaced, the e-mails i need to answer (that's you jill, alison, christi, mandi, olivia and dad!), the walk that maisy needs, the lunch with manda i need to reschedule (soon!), the blog post i need to write, the midamerican bill i need to pay, the cable bill i need to question (up $16 since last month? um, no.), the snacks that need to be brought to piper's classroom, the haircut that needs to be scheduled (just a trim), the bathroom drawers that need to be organized, the plans for thanksgiving that need to be made, and the for sale sign i really want to stick in the front yard by the end of the week. not to mention the fact that christmas is around the corner. (is it really?!)
i know this isn't unique to the female experience. i know that every mother (every woman? every person?) has errands to run and things to do and people to please and bills to pay and endless other stressors... how do we silence all those demanding voices to just focus on one thing at a time? how do we know what to put on the backburner and when to take it off? or is it actually possible to balance it all at once?
i read blogs. so i know there are women out there who (appear to) make everything from scratch and sew their own clothes and wash their hair everyday and make crafts with their children and, on top of that, take gorgeous pictures of it all and blog about it. i understand that will never be me. i can't sew, i don't bake and i only wash my hair 3 times a week. i don't strive to be perfect and i honestly don't beat myself up for not being one of "those" women (whether they're a figment of the blog world or not...). but i do want to continue to grow and learn and be the best version of me. i don't want to always be so scattered. i don't want piper to be 4 minutes late to school every day. i don't want to always feel rushed which leads to irritation which leads to another lost temper.
i want to live a healthy, balanced, peaceful life. a life where i feel close to god and close to the people i love. i want my children to feel safe, secure, and loved. i want my husband to feel respected, loved, and confident that i would choose him all over again, every day of my life.
when i think about my family and what i want for them, all the other demands seem a little less... demanding. of course i still need to pay my bills and it'd be good if i made it to the grocery store today, but those things aren't worth my stress or my distraction.
so i guess there's my answer.