Thursday, August 27, 2009

think.

today, after my class (which i'm still attending and hasn't yet killed me) i took the girls to target. i've been needing to run in there to exchange a couple things and since we were already loaded up in the car, i decided to just go straight there. sweaty, makeup-less, and in workout clothes (no, not cute ones; $5 shorts from walmart, mr. a's undershirt, and sneaks i've had since high school).
anyway, the point is: i went out in public like that and no one stared, screamed, or refused me service because i looked so heinous. as a recovering slave to self-consciousness, this was a bit of a revelation for me. i realized motherhood has helped me let go of a lot of insecurity. (unfortunately, motherhood brings a whole slew of new insecurities: is this just a phase or does it mean she's going to grow up and have bad posture and not realize she needs to wear a bra and dissect grasshoppers at recess and scare all the boys?! but i guess i'm more worried about people judging me as a mom than people judging me on how i look.)
i'm not condoning letting oneself go and ending up on What Not to Wear thinking you look really good in your paint-splattered fleece, saggy-butt yoga pants and scuffed up clogs (real episode, just saw the re-run last week)...but, i think motherhood can be good to help some of us let go just a little bit and realize that who we are is not how we look.
that's just what i've been thinking about today.
*
p.s. and anytime i start to forget this revelation, i just hop on over to
nienie's to get a sharp slap in the face and a strong dose of reality.

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